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Erotic Sexual Positions from Around The World

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That’s right.  Craftypants Carol is here to teach you all the extra fancy ways to get it on.

What you are about to feast your eyes on, IN IT’S ENTIRITY, is one of those rinky dink sex novelty items from a men’s bathroom sex novelty dispenser.  Why a men’s bathroom, you ask??? Why didn’t Crafty Carol stroll into a women’s bathroom to procure a how to guide for the sexual elite?  BECAUSE THEY DON’T HAVE THEM IN WOMEN’S BATHROOMS!!!!!!!   WTF WORLD?????

So I basically have to sit outside the men’s bathrooms at truck stops and the like, and bribe gentlemen that come and go to plunk my hard earned quarter into the novelty machines for me.  I feel so dirty.

Here you can see my grubby little hand clutching onto my prized possession.  I carry it with me everywhere for quick reference, btw.

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So enjoy the following pages of illustrations and sexual position descriptions – as well as the country where they originated.  I’m sure the authors carefully researched all of the info in here because it all sounds so plausible.

Oh and sorry about the pics where the illustration is going the wrong direction.  I had to make an executive decision and I decided it would be more beneficial to be able to read the description.  Feel free to turn your computer screen for maximum overall benefits though.

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holy shit those roman women are strong!!!
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this seriously looks like the world most uncomfortable position

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And finally I’ll thrill you a little more with another sex novelty dispenser item.

finger tickler 2

 

finger tickler 1

 

That’s all I’ve got!!!!  I can see that I need to sit outside of truck stop bathrooms a lot more!

70s Grade School Class Photos

Yeah it’s been a while. I know. I’ve been swimming in the murky cesspool of no internet, driving to and fro, maniacal scanning and (as I just discovered) blocked access to my website cause the library wifi in Douglas County, OR is censoring pornography.

And I’m all about the pornography.  Or at least I was. It’s been a while…

Anywho…during a maniacal scanning session recently I came across some pics that I thought I had inadvertently thrown out. I can’t tell you how happy I was to find them (scattered amongst my own photography – some of which is also pornography. Go figure.).

So here I present to you, my grade school class pics from 1974-1979. Kindergarten – 5th grade. Freaking yay!!!!!

Click on the images to get a real close up eyeful!!!

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That’s me on the bottom left

 

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I’m next to the bell in the pic

 

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I’m in the blue gingham on the lower right
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In here I’m in the overalls and green and orange striped turtleneck. See how tall I already am?
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In this pic I’m in the back row in the same green and orange turtleneck. I was one of the tall kids back then, I swear! But I somehow stopped growing and now I’m one of the short adults.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Im in the brown cowl neck sweater on the left. Next to the kid in yellow.

 

And as a special treat here’s a Neato plate I made in 1st or 2nd grade.

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Ok that’s it for now. Sorry if there’s anything weird with this post. The formatting or pic size. I’m doing the best I can with what I gots.

And Happy Valentine’s Day to everybody!!!!

Have a Beautiful Holiday

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Tirol Chocolate Mega Christmas House

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Yes, that’s right.  You are looking at one of the most awesome Japanese Christmas paper houses with candy EVER!!!!! And if you wanna see some up-closeness then just keep your googly eyes fixated right here!

In my recent travels and wanderings I happened upon this item in a Japanese supermarket in LA. I found it online so you can purchase one of your very own  – but at more than twice the price I paid!  Sheesh!

Here are pics of the whole outside of the box…

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and here is the box when it is first opened (I took all the candy and paper stuff out)…

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You pull apart some perforated sections and do some fancy folding and putting together of little stuffs and wa-LA!!!

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The box comes with an enormous amount of candy presents in a long string of packaging – I guess so that you can hang it somewhere next to the house on Christmas morning…

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I’ve had one so far and it was a chocolate covered wafer cookie thing.

And here are close ups of the inside…

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Pretty damn cute!!!!

I also bought another Christmas themed candy there – mostly for the packaging.

It’s called Christmas Kuppi Ramune starch candy by Kakudai.  I couldn’t find this product online though.

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Kuppi Ramune is the name of the rabbit and squirrel characters.  I don’t know if they are anything other than candy characters.  I can’t seem to find anything about them – other than on candy packaging.

This particular candy isn’t so great.  It’s called starch candy and they aren’t lying.  It kinda looks like a sweet tart but isn’t at all.

I also went to a nearby Daiso store and got myself another pair of fuzzy slippers among many other things.  I have a hard time controlling myself in either the Daiso store or the Japanese supermarket.

Here’s me enjoying some holiday entertainment in my new slippers….

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That’s about it. Have a fabulous Christmas Eve!!!!!!!!

Mary Cullen’s Christmas Cookies

A little while back I posted some ads from a 1953 Portland Oregon newspaper. One of the ads was for Mary Cullen’s freezer school.

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When I first saw it I not only thought that it was hilarious but I was also psyched cause I knew I had seen something from Mary Cullen before.

Long ago, before I had a scanner, I found this Mary Cullen chrismas cookie flyer in my great aunt’s recipie collection. I photocopied it then, and then scanned that photocopy, and now I’ll post it here.

Just keep in mind that the quality is not as good as you are used to here in CPC’s world of fine scanned goods. But you can still see the cute Santas and read the recipes.

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As per usual I’m all about the Fruit Cake Cookies and the Mincemeat Cookies.

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Hardcore (1979)

Yay!!!

Merrie Christmas Cookbook

Today I have some incredibly gorgeous illustrations from a cookbook called The Merrie Christmas Cookbook.

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It’s a small hardcover that was put out in 1955 by the Peter Pauper Press.

First some of the fab images…

cheese ball

desserts

dirty dishes

mixing bowl

ornaments

pig on platter

reindeer and carriage

turkey

xmas salad

xmas trees

 

and then some of the recipes from the canapé section…

holiday canapes

holiday canapes 2 mock caviar sardine cream cheese

Num!!

Holiday Recipes From Santa’s Kitchen

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Seriously.  This is directly from Santa’s Kitchen…via me…to you.

Obv Santa and I are really good friends and he let me take these pics and then publish them in a pull-out cookbooklet in some 70s mag.  And now you can make all these fab treats yourself!

Please note the teeny blown up pics of santa doing some product placement at the end.

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dude w cake boxes

dude w foil

dude w ham

dude w hash and bacon

dude w rice krispies

dude w stuffing

A Ticket to Romance…

Today I have a winter themed tale of romance that includes stewardesses, snow, passionate flaming kisses, a masquerade ball, free floating thought heads, and more kissing!  Mad, passionate kissing!

So curl up next to the fire with your fuzzy slippers and read A Ticket to Romance from the March 1964 issue of Young Romance.

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More 80s Christmas Seals

Today I have yet another set of Christmas seals for you to print out and seal things with.

These particular seals also allow you to announce to the world that you made something.

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On the back they also inform you of other uses for these seals…

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although I don’t know why you would want to put a “Handmade By…” sticker on your mirror.

So here is a sheet of the stickers.  You can print them out onto sticky paper if you want and use them on packages or canning jars filled with home made food stuffs or whatever else you have made by hand (even a mirror if that’s your thing).

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I love that plaid one!  But they’re all pretty nifty!

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