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Clown within a Clown

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From the Bewitched season 4 episode The No-Harm Charm.

Wtf Bewitched?

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Seriously WTF?

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WHAT

2

THE

3

FUCK?????????

Highlights From High Anxiety (1977)

werewolf

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if-you-want-me

The Legacy (1978)

I thought about writing a Home Sweet Home post about this movie (that’s where I talk about all the groovy shit going on in a specific horror movie house) – but I realized that, while the mansion in The Legacy is really neat, it’s just another run of the mill English countryside horror mansion.  So I decided to talk more about what I like about the movie instead.

If you haven’t seen The Legacy and would like to – before you read my spoiler filled post – I uploaded it on youtube

HERE

and it may not last long – so hightail it over there and watch it like the maniac that you are.  Then come back here and agree with everything I have to say.  That’s basically your only option.

So here we are with the title again (in case you missed it on yesterday’s post of The Legacy gifs)

title

 

So I’ll just come right out with it.  The Legacy isn’t that great of a movie.  It’s has some nice English villagey settings

villiage

 

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and some good actors and it has a storyline – but mostly what it has for me is childhood memories of being scared/intrigued that have morphed into an adult inability to get it out of my head.

For some reason 9 times out of 10 when I’m taking a shower I start thinking about this movie.   And it’s not cause of the Sam Elliott shower scene.  Maybe cause I’m all warm and cozy and relaxed and this movie gives me warm cozy feelings.

Who knows.

The bad side of this movie is – it’s not scary at all, the soundtrack and special effect are pretty bad

dude burning

the storyline is not very interesting, fleshed out or unique, and there is some pretty sub par acting by one person in particular who I won’t mention cause we all know who that is.  Don’t we?

But there really is a lot of interesting stuff going…like this creepy nurse

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nurse bone

 

nurse hissing

 

nurse reading

 

nurse xrays

 

nurse knife

who is always watching…

nurse monitor 2

 

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or skulking around

skulking nurse 1

 

skulking nurse 3

 

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or dying…

nurse dead

and then coming back to life…

nurse not dead

But even her skulking can’t ruin the fab foodstuffs spread!

food 1

 

food 2

No but Roger Daltrey can…

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Yes there’s a rock star dude in the movie.  He’s fine but the actor I really love in here is Charles Gray – maybe most well known (by me) as no neck from Rocky Horror Picture Show.  He’s done a ton of stuff but I don’t think I’ve seen very much of it.  I’m going to have to correct that immed!  I love every line he says.  He’s just so fabulous.

Here’s my gif of him and the phone again cause I think it’s just so great!

phone

And the last thing I’ll mention that I love about The Legacy (besides the Sam Elliott shower butt scene) is the ending.  Katharine Ross inherits all the wealth and power from her satanist predecessor and makes her current lover, Sam Elliott, her first minion by putting a ring on his finger…

ring 2

and then they kiss…

happy go lucky satanists

 

and start talking about what they’re gonna do with all the money and power.  They’re all super geeked about being satanists!

And I say yay for them!

So go watch it if you haven’t already!!

Super Highlights From The Legacy (1978)

A few of my fave moments from the 1978 horror movie The Legacy…

 

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pool-death

phone

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And stay tuned for a more in depth look at the movie.  Unfortunately this is all I have of Sam Elliott’s butt.

4/19-A Go Go – Hammond Organ Dance Party!!!!

It’s that time again!

Time to celebrate my birthday by dancing the day and night away on a non stop roller coaster of fun with the whole rest of the world.

Usually I create a special mix for this occasion – but there’s a bit of a time crunch at the old CPC fun factory so this year I’m presenting you with a premade album.

Yes.  This year my gift to all of you is none other than Big Jim “H” and his Hammond Organ Dance Party!

cover square

 You will not be able to control your feet when you hear Big Jim “H” tickle the plastic ivories to such dance classics as My Sweet Lord and House of the Rising Sun.

This is my very own rip of a cassette

side 1

so prepare yourself for that.

Included in the download is all the artwork including the original full tape cover,

cover whole

the cropped cover that you see up yonder, the cropped tape cover with little old me getting down (obv to The Theme From Love Story)

cover square with cpc

and very my own CPC within a CPC meta cover!  How fancy and crafty is that!?!??!

4-19 a go go cover

As well as the tape scans and all that great hammond organ dance music!

And HERE IT IS!!!!

Yay!!!!!  Now go dance like a whirlwind to My Way and Ruby Tuesday!!!!

Ladies and the Gorillas that Love Them…Apparently

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I’ve actually been planning this post since well before Halloween.  I thought it would make a fine Halloween costume post and then…I didn’t do it – as per usual.

And lately I’ve noticed just how many gorilla/lady pics I have accumulated and am still accumulating, and I yammered away at anyone who would listen that I should do that gorilla/lady post!   And they agreed, but I still didn’t do it…cause that’s the kind of person I am.

So, anyway, I just found out that today is National Gorilla Suit Day so HERE!  A bizarre pile of pics of gorillas grabbing at, holding, carrying, and leering at ladies.  There’s even a couple ladies IN gorilla suits!!!

Oh, and HAPPY NATIONAL GORILLA SUIT DAY!!!!

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Carol!!!!

 

This is by no means all of the gorilla pics in my possession – so look forward to a part two post that will include other types of primates, as well as some mens thrown into the mix!

 

The Passions of Carol’s Gruel

Alright.  Enough is enough.

I had this giant gruel extravaganza of posts lined up and all ready to go and never did them.  I got busy and blah blah whatev.  But just so I don’t have a bunch of weeping sadsacks following me around and giving me puppy dog eyes while I’m on vacation I’ll do this one giant post before the holidays happen.

I already mentioned that I’ve been obsessively watching A Christmas Carol – in all it’s zillions of incarnations ever since Halloween – and that one of my fave parts of A Christmas Carol is the gruel scene – but what you probably did NOT know is that THERE IS A PORN CHRISTMAS CAROL!!!!!!!!!!

Yes people.  Christmas, Ghosts, Carol and Porn all rolled into one giant ball of weirdness.  The only thing it does NOT have, however, is gruel.  ARGH!!!  I swear to god someday I’m gonna make my own gruel and jello salad oriented porno for me and folks exactly like me in every way.  Someday….

Anyway – what I’m a gonna do here is run through the highlights of The Passions of Carol – cause it’s a little different than the original story (heh) – and I’m going to intersperse that with my gruel gifs from some of the other versions of A Christmas Carol.

Be warned though that the copy of The Passions of Carol I was able to get my hands on is pretty sub par – but beggars can’t be choosers.  And for you folks with slow iphones (you know who you are) this is a gif heavy post.  Just fyi.

Are you ready???!??!?!?  Oh god I am so ready.

title

So basically we start off with Carol who owns her own nudie dude mag and because of a very sad photoset of all limp dicked models

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she makes her assistant, Bob Hatchet, stay late on Christmas Eve to fix the limp dicks.

Here he is toiling away over his limp dick layout…

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and apparently all he needs to fix the limp dicks is a pencil (#1 rule of porno watching – do not question anything)

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GRUEL INTERMISSION

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A Christmas Carol (1969)

Eventually Bob Hatchet goes home to his wife – who apparently uses crutches…

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and they fuck in front of the tree

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Very festive!

GRUEL INTERMISSION #2

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A Christmas Carol (1984) w/ George C. Scott

And while all the xmas fucking is going on – over at Carol’s house, the ghost of Marley shows up…

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and goes downtown on her for a bit

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Then the ghost of christmas past shows up.

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GRUEL INTERMISSION

A Christmas Carol (1971) w/ Alistair Sim
A Christmas Carol (1971) w/ Alistair Sim

The ghost of Christmas past takes her back to the time when she was a little girl

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and orders her friends to strip and fuck (remember, do not question the porn)

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There’s a nice bj with snow in the window shot in this scene….

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Makes you feel all nice and cozy, doesn’t it.

GRUEL INTERMISSION

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A Christmas Carol (1977) with Michael Hordern

The entire “children fucking” segment is done with Ring Christmas Bells playing with single shots punctuating very odd sex moments.

There is a series of shots of some Raggedy Ann and Andy wall art and a naked lady chair…

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GRUEL INTERMISSION

Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol
Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol

There is also a doll that plays a big part in this scene…

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but where could her arm be????

Oh!! There it is!

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Then the ghost of Christmas present shows up

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This is actually when we see the whole Bob Hatchet and his wife fucking scene (I jumped the gun a bit on that one).

GRUEL INTERMISSION

2013 A Christmas Carol that won't be avail in the US till next year!  argh!
2013 A Christmas Carol that won’t be avail in the US till next year! argh!

Then the ghost of Christmas future comes and shows Carol what will happen to her if she keeps up her current lifestyle.

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She’ll become a cheap ho with a fro…

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who washes her customer’s dicks in the hotel sink.

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Oh hell no!!!

She wakes up and goes to her roof and makes a speech about how she is going to change

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And she hugs herself cause of all her newfound love of life and all that.  And that’s the end.

MORE GRUEL

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Scrooge (1970) with Albert Finney

and more eating of other stuffs…

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Num!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!!!!!!!

Highlights from Pulse (2001)

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Breakin’ Into the Best Drinks Vending Machine

 

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Snacks!!!

And doesn’t that one snack bag looks suspiciously similar to my fave Japanese cracker?   Pretty freaking nifty!

japanese-cracker

Music to Be Scared By…

music to be scared by

Once again I bring you my fave places where you can go to find really cool Halloween music.  If you were hanging around here last year you’ll notice that a lot of these are the same sites I directed you back then – but who cares!  It’s cool shit!!!!  And there new stuff too!

Cottage of Electric Hell

Front

I freaking love this blog.  It’s custom soundtracks for some pretty obscure British horror ripped from VHS – so there’s dialogue and background music and everything mixed together.  This first link is def still working – but you’ll have to wind your way through to see if everything else is. This kind of thing is seriously some of my fave music ever to listen to and something you’ll find more of below!

Island of Terror and Island of Terror on Soundcloud

Top of the Pops (31st August 1978).avi_snapshot_23.11_[2013.08.26_01.22.47]

This blog does similar stuff – but it’s more audio samples of dialogue from vintage horror and background music mixed in with other stuff rather than entire custom soundtracks.  Most of it is on the Soundcloud link – but the main site is totally worth checking out too!

The Ghost of the Weed Garden

Cosmic Cauldron

Massively amazingly creepy mixes with psych/follk/occult rock mixed in as well as horror movie dialogue.

13/Monster Movie Music/Dwrayger Dungeon (honestly i have no idea what to call it – but i don’t think it really matters)

Halloween Queen 39

Here’s more of that taking music and dialogue out of movies stuff that I love.  These guys review a different movie almost every DAY and extract enough sounds and dialogue from it to make a little mp3 track.  It’s seriously so freaking cool and so fun to listen to.

Magic Carpet Burn

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For like 3 or 4 years now I’ve been linking to this site cause he has the coolest little music player way way down at the bottom of the page.  And every year I wonder if it’s still gonna work cause he stopped updating the site a couple years ago – and it still does!!!!  Go check out the Monster Record Player way down at the bottom and either listen to the zillions of monster songs on there or download them.  The other stuff he posts is great too!  But man that player always geeks me out.

Frayker’s Revenge

A

This is another one of my all time fave music blogs.  This guy’s stuff isn’t really horror – it’s library music – or background music – from 70s and 80s TV shows and movies and a lot of the stuff he mixes in has a total creepy 70s TV music vibe.  I freaking love it!  It looks like it might not be the easiest to download – I checked the first link and there’s some fabulous cap the file hosting site put on the number of downloads – but check back to see if it works.  It’s totally worth it!

Nate Ashley

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This guy does similar stuff with the extracting audio off VHS of DVDs of movies with unreleased soundtracks and makes them for people to download.  He also does these hilarious horror View Master things!  You have to go check them out!  But the MAIN thing I’m directing you to here are the SEVEN volumes of creepy ass, cool as shit horror music compilations he has put together – from soundtracks and from VHS rips. They are called Written in Blood and THEY ARE AWESOME!  HERE is a direct link to the music downloads page.  But check out the rest of the site too!

Monster Mashup

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And last but not least the 2013 Monster Mashup!!!!!  Yay!!!!  The red Monster Mashup link up there links to the Facebook page – which is the only place the link was posted so far – HERE is the direct download link.  And while your checking this stuff out you should also check out Mashup of the Day on Facebook cause he’s posting mashups from the last 9 years of Monster Mashup albums.  And it was mentioned that the links for all 9 of the Monster Mashup albums might be posted somewhere this year and I’ll post all that here if I come across them!

Ok – now go get your creepy, Halloweenie music!!!

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