Yeah, I know.  That wasn’t as exciting of a title as I was trying to make it out to be.  I was trying to get you all excited over something besides sex tubs but I don’t know if that’s gonna happen.  And I don’t think there is a blog post title anywhere will even come close to being as exciting as the title of my last post was for pretty much every single person on the face of the earth.  At least not till I do another sex tub post, that is.  (I know that got you really really excited and all, but you’re just gonna have to keep your cool till that post comes around.  Be cool….and focus on the sprout sauce.)

What I wanna talk about today is something I came up with all by myself after looking around for something similar and coming up with no dice.  Can “no dice” be used in the way I just used it?  It seems simultaneously right and wrong.  I’m gonna go with it cause I don’t think I’ve ever written anything that used that phrase before and I kinda like it.

Something I’m pretty obsessed with is green sauce.  You can find different varieties originating from different countries across the globe, and they all have their differences and their similarities.  There’s coriander chutney from India, chimichurri from Argentina (as well as many other South American countries – and I’ve had it in a few Cuban restaurants), salsa verde from Italy and yadda yadda yadda.  They all have some kind of parsley-like green that is blended with garlic or onions, or both, a souring agent (vinegar, lemon, lime) and then some other stuff.  And I put it on pretty much everything.

I usually make mine with whatever I have on hand (parsley or cilantro), then add both onions and garlic, lemon or lime juice, salt, red pepper flakes and cumin.  That’s just the way I like it.  You can also add oil and/or water to thin it a bit, and I ALWAYS use the stems.  I read somewhere that stems make the sauce bitter, but I have never noticed that – and you get way more volume.  I have a Vitamix (xoxo) and it purees things up real nize.

So, the other day I found that I had a very small amount of cilantro in my fridge, and a huge amount of spouts and I wondered if anything bad would happen if I replaced some of the cilantro quotient of the recipe with sprouts and all I could find online was some crappy brussel sprout sauce.  To put on the brussel sprouts, not to make with them.

So, I just did it, and guess what.  It’s really really good.

I don’t know if any of you out there are into smoothies or raw foods or whatever – but if you are, and you like green smoothies, and you have a bunch of extra sprouts laying around, you may have, at some point, attempted to make a green smoothie with your sprouts, like I did.  And I’ll tell you right now, if that wasn’t you that made the green sprout smoothie, that it’s not really that good.  I like the green smoothies with the chard and beet greens and sometimes a little kale or collards and I even like the dandelion greens in my green smoothie – but there is just something about the sprouts that tastes way way too sprouty.  Maybe I used too much sprouts, I don’t know.  I haven’t really wanted to try it again to find out.  That’s where my sprout sauce trepidation came from.  I didn’t just want to feel like I was eating a pureed sprout salad.

I figure it’s the combo of the cilantro (which has a pretty strong flavor) and the onion, garlic, lime and cumin that sort of detracts from any excessive sproutiness, although I will say that if you’re someone who shies away from hot foods, the radish sprouts do jack up the heat a bit.

This is also a great way to use up sprouts that you may have accidentally let get green for too long and that got a little too chewy.

So here I will give you an actual recipe in recipe format so that you can do what I did.  But please feel free to tweak the hell out of it – cause that’s what life is all about.

Sprout Sauce

1/2 bunch of cilantro
2 cups mixed sprouts (mixed sprout seed mix + extra lentil seeds)
1/4 of a large onion
2 cloves garlic
juice of 1 lime
1 tsp salt
1 tsp cumin
1/2 tsp red pepper flakes (but remember the radish sprout warning)
1/4 c water – give or take

Put everything in Vitamix or blender or food processor without the water and blend, adding water as you go to get the consistency you want.

I LOVE this sauce on over easy eggs.  LOVE.  But it’s also soooo good on any kind of meat or vegetable and is soooo good with Indian food.  So good.

And now I’d like to take this opportunity to bring everyone’s attention to two very important videos.  Please watch these videos at least once.  Then watch them again many many times.

The first one is kinda wacko, in a mellow sort of way, and it will help to gear you up for the main attraction, which is the second video.  That video, I know, is going to freak your shit so much that you won’t be able to watch anything else for like, and hour afterwords.  You’ll just want to watch it over and over, like me.  So don’t go jumping ahead and ruin the flow.

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Get ready….

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Time to smoke a cigarette…..