Ok, I lied. It’s not really a “God” pic. I didn’t lay on my back and take a picture of the sky and catch God doing something. It’s more a Sunday school, Santa Claus nightgown, God quote wreath thing. Or whatever.
I’ll show you that first so you can start breathing again.
The thing I find most alarming about this whole contraption is that no one even bothered to trim that ugly tan construction paper off around the outside of the wreath. I mean it would actually be kinda of cute in a Sunday-school-Santa-pjs sort of way if it didn’t have that dorky octagonal tan paper hanging off the sides.
The next items are the paper goods I promised a few seconds ago. Now, here I must take a moment to warn you. This may just be the turning point in our relationship. I am about to reveal to you the depths of my dorkiness (and I’m not talking tan-octagonal-paper-hanging-off-god-wreath dorkiness either). I am just warning you cause you may never wish to return to my realm again.
One of my big secrets is… I scan stupid stuff that most people would probably throw out. But, since you are here, that means that you either…
1) are exactly like me in every way or…
2) stumbled upon my realm and can’t figure out how to get out (those are the only two option available).
So then that can only mean that you will want these items for your very own too (or that you don’t but we won’t dwell on that part)! Yay for us!!
First up is a scan of a notepad called “The Bachelor Pad.” It’s got all these funky doodles around the edges of the paper and a space in the middle to write your notes or what-have-yous.
All the following scans are 300 dpi – purely for your printing pleasure.
Sorry about the wonkiness of that one – I’ll fix it someday.
Next is another notepad for you to print off and use as if it were your very own. It is the receipt pad for an upholstery business that my grandpa and his brother had in Regina, Saskatchewan way back in the 40s or 50s. See, you can pretend that you work at Barrie Brothers and that someone just ordered a sofa reupholstery job! Isn’t that exciting?!?! What would YOU charge?
And next is an old envelope for some bank. It’s not a deposit envelope, as it was clearly meant to go through the mail (or did they do that way back when?). But you could print out any size you want and trick your loved ones into thinking they are receiving some sort of official thing in the mail.
Fuck – my boyfriend just figured out what I’m doing and looked at me like I was off my rocker. I guess he’s not invited back to my realm.
Ok – back to the snazzy envelope. Here it is. (In case you didn’t go this far in your head – you could actually SEND a Barrie Brothers receipt to someone IN THIS ENVELOPE! How exciting is THAT?)
And last, but not least, just so you don’t say I never gave you anything that wasn’t really boring and stupid – here’s a pretty cool canning label. Print and commence labeling!
Ok – have fun with your new toys!